The Great Recrutment of SSBM Melee
by GanondorfFan
Summary: Once apon a time me an my best friend got bored with ssb 64 so we went digital and started recruting characters to creat an all new game. -Discontinued due too... toomany other ideas-
1. Welcome to the SSBM headquarters

Chappy 1  
  
A kangaroo rat runs up and bites you on the nose screaming, "DIE DIE DIE  
DIE!" Marita runs away chuckling madly. A large purple fruit bat blushing beat  
red walks up and replaces your nose with a much nicer one. Anna: *cough cough* ahhhh. sorry.. that was my little sister, she was supposed to do the disclaimer but someone must've left the sugar out. Right now she. untouchable. so back to the point! I do not own any of the SSBM charactors or any other characters except me, my friends, my teacher, and my sister. Now that the technical stuff is over with, welcome to My Story. My friend Foofbunny helped me write this so it's partly her story too. Thankies Foofbunny! In the more than likely occasion that you have no idea whatsoever who Mr.D, Erian/ Foofbunny, Marita or Anna are I'm going to give a brief explanation of everyone in order of importance.  
  
Anna: The author/ ME! I'm a half human half purple fruit bat with great big purple ears and wings. Remember that I am a FRUIT bat. I am not a vampire bat, I am not evil (unless you consider a Ganondorf follower to be evil), I do not suck blood or any of the nasty like. I am a FRUIT bat and eat fruit, preferably mangos. I also have a gold fang but that's only for good me sure. Other details that I haven't mentioned is that I'm a teenage girl and I have long blond bangs and otherwise have dark blond, shoulder length hair. I think Ganondorf and Jack (pirates of the Caribbean) are by far the most awesome peoples on earth, WHOOT! *svoon svoon* If you haven't seen Pirates Of the Carabean go see it. Now. It is the most awesome movie on earth, and Jack is the most awesome character on earth, followed closely by Ganondorf.  
  
Mr. D: My bizarre science teacher who is obsessed with having people think and problem solve and desperately needs to brush his hair. Be very wary of him. He also speaks at light speed in both French and English (I'm in French emersion)  
  
Marita: part kangaroo rat part I love to drive Anna insane. Marita is my dear sugar addict sis. She's 8. She also has the power to turn me into a giant raging fire dragon with a single word. I swear she knows exactly the right pitch of voice to kill me, but first she tortures me for hours by repeating molymolymolymolymolymoly over and over and over and over *begins to foam at the mouth* and over and over and over.  
  
Last of all the undeserving Orlando Bloom Leach gets a bio: Erian/Foofbunny: Erian is a half rabbit half human *Foofbunny kills me and attacks the compu* BUNNY! BUNNY DAMN IT! *I reincarnate and she spontaneously combusts (ah the power of authorness)* sorry, bunny, with long white ears and white paws. Somehow despite the lack of opposable thumbs she still manages to write. Her pen name is Foofbunny (big surprise) and I call her that from time to time. She is absolutely nuts over Legolas/Orlando Bloom and Zora Link (Link with the Zora mask on in Majora's Mask) and this guy called Steven *Anna gasps as Erian puts a knife to her throat* She's just good friends with Steven.  
  
Well, I think that about sums it all up, so lets get on with the story! Anna lay drooling on a couch in front of an N64 with Foofbunny sitting next  
to her. Across the screen a battle waged in slowmo with Yoshi and Kirby beating the crap out of a lv.9 Jigglypuff (super smash brothers for N64).  
  
Anna: this game is sooooooo slow. you don't even need a trace of reaction speed. Ungh *Yoshi slowly jumps and slowly bum slams jigly puff who slowly tries to get away but slowly does not succeed then slowly flies off screen and slowly spontaneously combust just out of view*  
  
Eirian: damn, fell off again. Ya know, this game desperately needs to be updated. *Kirby slowly bashes Yoshi*  
  
Anna: Wha? I'm sorry I was shweeping.  
  
Eirian: I said this game needs new charactors.  
  
Anna: *sits bolt upright* was that a request?  
  
Eirian: no. I was just complaining.  
  
Anna: *Eyes glint aqua for a second then she quickly pastes a (Kind of) reassuring smile on her face* of course it wasn't!  
  
Eirian: *checks watch* Oh I have to leave in about half an hour to go to a docter's appointment. If I'm late my mom is going to be REALLY pissed.  
  
Anna: *goes white* uhh. you know, if you miss your appointment, don't blame me K?  
  
Eirian: WHAT?!! WHY?!  
  
Anna: *gulps*  
  
Fortunately for her, right at that moment they both dematerialized and were  
sucked into the N64 by a suspicious aqua magic.  
  
Eirian blinked. She was in a circular snow white room with a very high ceiling. In the center a black leather chair swiveled around and faced her. Lounging evilly (if that's possible) was Anna, smiling deviously. She wore a cool long black jacket, an aqua tunic and a hat that looked suspiciously like Jack Sparrow's. She snapped her fingers and all the walls started to buzz. Every inch of wall was a giant big screen TV. Each screen showed a  
different video game character.  
  
Anna: I've got a genius idea. We collect allsorts of characters from different videogames, wage a tournament, and ABRACADABRA! We've got a perfect updated game. There's just one thing I wasn't counting on, when we came in we blew up the old super smash game so we would have to get all the characters from that game over. Whad'you think? Eirian are you listening?  
  
Eirian: *glomp glomp* *Drool Drool*  
  
Eirian stood glued to a screen showing a tall handsome Zora walking around.  
The fizzled and died as the saliva short-circuited it.  
  
Eirian: NOOO! Zora Link! COME BACK! Anna: *grins gold fang glistening* so Link it is then.  
  
Anna scooped up Eirian and flew through a fiery aqua portal leading to  
Hyrule.  
  
Anna: Will kiss Jack for Reviews!!  
  
Jack (tied up in chair): SPARE ME! DON'T REVIEW!!!  
  
Foofbunny: *grins evilly* nobody will review if they're even slightly humane if you use Jack. Let's try something uglier? *snaps paws*  
  
Captin Falcon: *appears and replaces Jack* Hi there sweet cheeks!  
  
Anna: *keels over* Damn you Eirian, damn you Eirian!  
  
Captain Falcon: Hey check out my butt chin! I'm permanently mooning you! Kiss me babe. Huy uh huy uh huy uh.  
  
Anna: *woozely* woook. dwon't revew Okway? Pweese. *augh* *dies*  
  
Jack: *runs up to Erian* thank you so much!  
  
Eirian: Nothing doing.  
  
A minute later (I couldn't tell you what happened in that minute, I was  
dead/knocked out)  
  
Eirian: *Leans forwards*  
  
Jack: *Leans forwards*  
  
Anna: *wakes up and sees what's about to happen* ARGH!!!! *Pushes Eirian away from Jack and blasts Jack with aqua magic* *Jack disapears*  
  
Eirian: Aww man. what'd you do that for? Anna: Why did I do That?!! You were about to kiss him!  
  
Eirian: No I wasn't. He was just about to give me Orlando Bloom's Phone number!  
  
Anna: .  
  
Eirian: I'm totally reviewing now. You are so going to kiss that but chinned creep.  
  
Anna: . *Dies*  
  
Eirian to you: Look I'm reviewing anyways so you may as well review. 


	2. Young Link the cute blonde elf

Young Link ran through Hyrule field sword unsheathed, the sun beeting down  
on his head. He looked up at the sun.  
  
Young Link: From the position of the sun I'd say it's about 12 o'clock. Better hurry, have to get to the desert before dark. *shivers* Stupid, scary, weird skull kid things. So nerve-wracking!  
  
Suddenly a giant fruit "keese"(as bats are called in Hyrule) dropped a  
raging white bunny on him. Anna landed and did her best impression of  
something horribly foreboding and powerful.  
  
Anna: *scary voice* Fear me I am the great Keese God! Joooiiinnn usss. Joiiin ussss Liiiiinnnnk. No wait, you're not incredibly cute with girls chasing you at every possible moment. You're *gasp* YOUNG LINK!  
  
Eirian: no Zora Link then?  
  
Anna: No Zora Link. Alright lets go find the REAL Link *gives Young Link dirty look* *Nabs Eirian and is about to take off*  
  
Suddenly a wolfos (wolf) howled in the distance and the sun dropped like a rock out of the sky behind the mountains and the moon shot out of the east. Out of the ground popped a bunch of freakish mummy like skeleton things.  
  
Skull kid: Hey! I'm going to kill you all! Yay!  
  
Anna (who has mummy phobia and is forced to do all sorts of Social Science projects on them *shivers*)& Young Link: ARGH!!!!  
  
Anna: Freekish, horrid, nasty, stinky, evil mummies!!! ARGH! *takes off into air hauling a completely calm Foofbunny after her*  
  
Y Link: *Grabs Eirian's leg* NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME!!!  
  
Anna: damn it! I can't take off with all this extra weight! GEROFF!  
  
Eirian *calmly*: Why don't we just fend off the skull kid so we can recruit Y Link as a character?  
  
Anna: *desperately trying to take off* *sobs* BECAUSE MUMMIES ARE SO NASTY!!!*starts crying*  
  
Eirian: *smashes Skull Kid's head in* see it's really easy! That's it now we can just.  
  
Another Skullkid: *Pops up* Hi! Die!  
  
Anna: AUGH!! *Picks up Y Link and swings him into skull kid*  
  
Skull kid: *dies*  
  
Yet another Skull Kid: Hi! D*head gets bashed in*  
  
Y Link: Owwwww! The pain! It burns!  
  
Anna: *Eyes go white* BWHAHAHAHAHA! *Goes insane killing skull kids with Y Link's head*  
  
10 dead skull kids later  
  
Anna, Foofbunny, Y Link: Oooooooooh Shiiiiiiit.  
  
In front of them screaming revenge, reared a Gigantic Skull Kid.  
  
Giant Skull Kid of Doom: Now you die.  
  
Y Link: *something clicks* That's it! Skull kids hate the bunnyhood! *Picks up Eirian (foofbunny) and hucks her at Giant Skull Kid of Doom.*  
  
GSKofD: EEEEEE! A rabbit!  
  
Eirian: *Eyes go red and starts foaming at mouth* BUNNY! BUNNY DAMN IT!!!!! ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!! *shreds GSKofD*  
  
GSKofD: *falls to pieces*  
  
Eirian, Anna &Y Link: Yay!!!  
  
Suddenly an even bigger GSKofD pops up. Fortunately for everyone (except the EBGSKofD) a random Cookoo (once again the makers of Zelda have renamed an animal, in this case a rooster) cookadoodled in the distance and the sun  
knocked the moon out of the sky. *WHAM*  
  
Anna: Thank god that's finally over. *phew*  
  
Eirian: Let's go get that Zora Link!  
  
Anna: *suddenly struck her that she could possibly meet Ganondorf if she stayed* Umm. Ya let's go! Hey Y Link wanna screw the triforce and come with us?  
  
Y Link: Sure!  
  
Anna (muttering to Eirian): It's amazing no one's just kidnapped him with a lost puppy line.  
  
Eirian: *puts on sun glasses* the recruitment begins. *rips shades off and stomps them* *screams* THAT WAS SUCH A BAAAAAD MOVIE!!!  
  
Anna: well it can't be as bad as the Leaugue of exxxxx *spits all over* xxxxx trordinary gentlmen. Attack of bad computer use and plot less movies. *shivers*  
  
Thusly (nasty complicated words) Anna took two trips to drop Eirian and Y  
Link off at the SSBM headquarters.  
  
Anna: will dance for reviews! *coughing* withcough Jacoughck *grabs jack and starts to Tango* Lalalala! *starts so waltz* Lalalala! *starts to cha- cha* Lalala!  
  
Jack: *steps on her toe and makes a break for it*  
  
Anna: *dives after him* comeback Jack! Ooh! That rhymes! I have a knack for rap about Jack! Jack, comeback, before I stab you with a tack, Ooh! Watch out for that crack! If you step on a crack, you'll break you mothers back! You better go and pack, and put your stuff in a sac! Watch out for that evil Prack!  
  
Prack: I want a snack!  
  
Jack: ACK!  
  
Anna: Alright, change of plans, will rap for reviews! 


	3. Donkey Kong the Stupid

Chappy 3  
  
At SSB Headquarters  
  
Anna: All right who next?  
  
Eirian: Zora Link!  
  
Anna: *gulps* No, let's get someone from a different game. Too much Zelda could *coughs* kill some people you know?  
  
Y Link: Hey, can you get Ness for me? Him an me used to hang all out together all the time.  
  
Anna: Ness? Well... where is he?  
  
Y Link: nobody actually knows his whereabouts. Some actually questions his game's existence.  
  
Eirian: How are we going to find it then you idiot?! Zora Link would just be so much easier *wink wink nudge nudge hint hint*  
  
Anna: *starts sweating* Give it a break; we can't just do Zelda characters!  
  
Y Link: DK is pretty cool too...  
  
Anna: DK IT IS THEN!  
  
Erian: DK?!!! *vomits* *yells* You just don't want to have to face Ganondorf! You're afraid you'll freeze up or something! *leans closer* or maybe. you're even afraid you'll fall for him.  
  
Anna: uhmmm *is sweating so much now theirs a good 20 cm of sweat washing around everyone's feet* NO!  
  
Y Link: Ganondorf?!!  
  
Anna: PISS OFF YOU LITTLE CREEP! GANONDORF ROCKS!!  
  
Y Link: *sob* I thought you were my friends! *starts crying*  
  
Eirian: Can't. contain. Emotions. Cute. Elf. Crying. Cute. Blonde. Elf. Crying. *mutters something about Y Link's resemblance to Legolas* I. Can't. Fight. It. Any. Longer!!! *scoops Y Link up and shnoogles him*  
  
Y Link: *Blink blink* Yay! *shnoogles back* Foofbunny: *Suddenly realizes what she's doing* AGH!!! GET IT OFF ME! *rips young Link off face and throws him across the floor*  
  
Anna: You would be a really bad babysitter.  
  
Eirian: *collapses* I'm sorry Legolas! I'm sorry Zora Link!  
  
Anna: They aren't here.  
  
Eirian: *goes starry eyed* they are always with me.  
  
Anna: OOOOOK then.  
  
Y Link: WAINH!  
  
Anna: (in germen accent (from army of darkness) Let's get hell out of here! *scoops up Eirian and flies through fiery vortex to land of Giant Golden Bananas (Kingdom Kong)*  
  
In Banana Kingdom  
  
Eirian squirmed out of Anna's claws and landed in a enormous pile of golden  
Bananas.  
  
Anna: *picks up banana* they appear to be bananas with golden peals!  
  
Eirian: Oh really? *Turns back on Anna and starts stuffing banana peels into pockets*  
  
Anna: Eirian what are you doing?  
  
Eirian: *quickly hides hoard and puts on innocent smile* Nothing! Nothing whatsoever!  
  
Anna: *Suddenly realizes she is holding a Banana and is possessed by her evil nickname spirit (my nickname is Banana)* Bananas UNITE! *hold golden banana overhead* peel bananas, peel peel bananas! *peels golden banana* Slice bananas, slice slice bananas *whips out a sword (that appears out of thin air) and slices banana into pieces* Mush bananas, mush mush bananas *mooshes banana* Eat bananas! Eat eat bananas! *devours Banana* GO BANANAS GO GO BANANAS!!!! *goes insane and starts throwing bananas and hooting* *stops* phew. Now that I got that out of my system.  
  
Eirian, not to be outdone also breaks out into song Eirian: What's this, what's this? There's bananas everywhere. What's this, there's bananas in the air. What's this, I can't belive my eyes, I must be dreaming, wake up Eirian THIS ISN'T FAIR!!! What's this?!?!? What's this, what's this, there's something very wrong, what's this to who do these bananas belong? What's this, the cave is full of golden bananas, Anna seems so happy, HAVE I POSSIBLY GONE DAFFY? What is this?!?!? What's this. There's a child throwing bananas and I think she's lost her head. Bananas raining from the sky, If I don't run now I'll probably be dead (bad grammer... song rewriters licence)! There's bananas covering ever window, oh I can't believe my eyes, and in my bones I feel the goo that's coming from inside (the bananas)... Oh! Look, what's this, she's hanging bananas, she kisses (a banana)? Why that looks so unique, INSPIRED!!! She's gathering around eating, roasting bananas on a fire! What's this?!?!? What's this, in here she's got a little banana tree, how queer, and who would ever think, and why? She's covering it with little things, she's got electric bananas on strings, and now so smile! So now correct me if I'm wrong, this looks like fun, this looks like. Oh, could it be I got my wish? What's this??!?!? Oh my, what now? The child is asleep, but look there's nothing underneath, no bananas, no other bananas here to scream and scare little cozy thing secure inside her dream land. Haaaaaa.... What's this?!?!?! The normality is missing, and lack of bananas can't be found, and in they're place there seems to be gold bananas all around! Instead of screems I swear I can hear bananas in the air, the smell of bananas and Anna are absolutely every where... THE bananas THE soundes (of squishing), they're everywhere and all around. I've never felt so good before. This empty place in side of me is filling up (with bananas), I simply can not get enough, I WANT a banana, I WANT a banana I want it for my own. I've got to know, I've got to know, what is this place that I have found! WHAT. IS. THIS. *BONKE* Kingdom Kong? Hmmmmmm... (song from Nightmare Before Christmas. An absolutely butchered version of the song... It may be hard to understand but that's because it was about originally about Christmas before I added Banana as every second word...)  
  
Suddenly before she could continue a bird squawked very loudly outside. (In one of the Donkey Kong games, the second boss is a giant ostrich. When you defeat this giant ostrich, you get a GYNORMOUS Banana, which is transported  
to your horde)  
  
Anna & Eirian: What was that?  
  
Suddenly an ENORMOUS Banana came hurtling towards the duo. Anna whipped her sword through the middle and managed to save herself. Instead, it landed on  
Eirian (.  
  
Anna: *Phew* close one.  
  
Eirian: Wooga wooga. *Keels over*  
  
Anna: *Dumps water all over Eirian*  
  
Eirian: I'M UP, I'M UP! Hey, isn't that Jack's sword?  
  
Anna: What if it is?  
  
Eirian: *shrugs* Where did it come from?  
  
Anna: Don't ask silly questions. Now we best be going to find DK.  
  
Eirian: *gets up* Are we planless?  
  
Anna: Completely.  
  
Eirian: Alright then, CHARGE!  
  
The second they set foot outside a barrel broke over Eirian's head and she fell to the ground unconscious. The bright orange Orangutan who had thrown the barrel hooted and was about to pick up another one when a bullet caught him in between the eyes. Anna blew on a pistol that had materialized in her  
hand. Eirian got up and rubbed her head.  
  
Eirian: Isn't that Jack's pistol?  
  
Anna: You bet.  
  
Suddenly a Muscly Lizard Man jumped up behind them and roared. Anna whirled  
and pulled the trigger.  
  
Gun: clickty clicktly clickty  
  
Eirian: That's Jack's pistol, remember? It's only got the one shot he's saved for 10 years to shoot Barbosa with.  
  
Anna: *Stares at pistol blankly* Uh oh.  
  
Seeing that they were distracted the M L M (muscly lizard man) ran towards  
them teeth bared.  
  
Eirian: *Whips out Will Turner's sword and throws it at the M L M* *And misses*  
  
Instead of hitting the M L M the sword twirled over the cliff behind the M L M and smacked king K Rule on the head (King K Rule is a creepy crocodile thing with a sticky outy bellybutton and is the final boss in this DK game)  
thusly killing him.  
  
Anna: Where'd you get Orlando Blooms/ Will Turners sword?  
  
Eirian: Don't question my psychic connection to my crushes. Also, don't question the fact I needed to do that to continue with the plot.  
  
The M L M started to circle the duo. Around and around it went its jaws hungry for blood. just when it was moving in for it's yummy dinner Diddy  
holding Will Turner's sword and DK jumped out the nearby jungle. Diddy quickly shoved the M L M off cliff with the sword. DK thinking (or what we assume he does) Eirian & Anna were just funny looking M L Ms smashed Eirian  
over the head with a huge fist.  
  
Anna (I could never miss an opportunity for a bad joke): Hey, he would definitely be a good "Smasher!"  
  
DK: *hits Anna over head*  
  
Diddy ran over and stopped DK just as he was about to sit on Anna.  
  
Diddy: DK! Bad boy! Stop! The bunny and bat thing are friends! We don't hurt friends do we?  
  
DK: Fweinds?  
  
Diddy: Friends. Don't hurt friends. *turns to Anna and Foofbunny* I'm so sorry! He's really a nice guy, he's just not too bright.  
  
Eirian: *Rubs huge bump on head* We noticed.  
  
Diddy: Again I'm really sorry! Oh DK! Don't eat that!  
  
DK: but rock yummy! *swallows rock*  
  
Diddy: Oh well. *turns back to bunny & bat* thank you so much for killing King K Rule! I believe this is yours. *hands Will Turner's sword to foofbunny*  
  
Anna: Who's King K Rule?  
  
Diddy: Big crocodile with bulging eye, tormenting land, extremely ugly. Ring a bell? Anyways you killed him with that beautifully thrown sword! Such precision, such planning!  
  
Eirian: *blushes* Don't flatter me too much!  
  
Anna: *muttering* You never plan anything.  
  
Foofbunny: Shhh! Not in my moment of glory!  
  
Diddy: For this great deed I'll give you anything in thanks!  
  
Foofbunny opens her mouth to say Orlando Bloom but Anna quickly pushes her  
aside:  
  
Anna: DK  
  
Diddy went white and looked at his companion who was now chewing on a  
brick.  
  
Diddy: *squeaky voice* DK? Well, let's ask him.  
  
Eirian: DK we want you come with us to be part of group that fights each other lots an lots. We give you banana if you come.  
  
DK: Duh. *stands up straight* I am intrigued by your offer. If you allow me to retrieve my clothes for the trip, I would be delighted to join this "Group" you speak of.  
  
Eirian, Diddy &Anna: *Blink blink*  
  
Seeing their blank looks, he quickly added a ".Duh" and scratched his  
armpit.  
  
Anna: *snaps out of daze* Um Ya. sure.  
  
DK: *bounds off into forest than comes back holding a bunch of different coloured ties*  
  
Anna: Why just ties?  
  
DK: *Shrugs* umm... who but dorks wears more den ties?  
  
Anna: I WEAR MORE THEN TIES!  
  
DK: *shrugs again* Alright then les go.  
  
So ends the second recruitment as Anna with a huge amount of effort and  
pain managed to drag the huge monkey into the portal, Eirian following  
closely after.  
  
^.^ Anna: Will. um. do something for reviews! I just don't know what. I know! I will let you review and say what you want me to do next time! Now I know I've neglected my duty as do-something-for-review-er so I will do it now. So first chapter was.  
  
Captain Falcon: Hi Sweetcheeks!  
  
Anna: *freezes on spot*  
  
CF: *leans closer grinning*  
  
Anna: *leans backwards*  
  
Eirian: *jumps out and kicks Anna's head so it collides with CF's*  
  
Heads: *klonk*  
  
CF & Anna: *Pass out*  
  
Eirian: now you can't say Foofbunny no done anything for da peoples  
  
Anna: Ha... I didn't kiss im! I jus bwoke my node on chin. or buh. waever u call ih.  
  
Eirian: Next time, and I guarantee there will be a next time *smiles peevishly and vanishes*  
  
Anna: *gets up* now for last promise. Problem is I don't know what to rap about. *Looks at Ganondorf smiting link viciously with a sword*  
  
Ganondorf: Don't look at me like that  
  
Anna: The great Ganondorf used to rule da high school like he rule Hyrule. He was cool, real cool. He used to be as good at pool as he is in a duel. He used to have a kat called Mr. Shnookoo. Mr. Shnookoo looked like a Kangaroo covered in doo-doo.  
  
Ganondorf: HE WAS NOT COVERED IN POO! You are so cruel!  
  
Anna: Ganondorf was a real jewel. The only girl who didn't like him was a ghoul and she looked like a mule. Sheesh what a fool. You'll regret it girl! I bet right now your sitting in night school covering your homework in drool.  
  
Ganondorf: *now blushing a deep red* Ok now you have to shut up. I am not one to be rapped about.  
  
Anna: Well there you have it folks! I promise it I give it! 


	4. Link the hot :p It vill confuse you all!

Chappy 4  
Warning: This chapter is mildly confusing. sorry 'bout that. The next  
chapter is worse though because Eirian wrote it.  
  
Anna sat in her luxurious black leather gangster boss chair twirling Jack's  
sword.  
  
Anna: Who next?  
  
Eirian: Zora Link/ Mikau (Mikau is the Zora link posses when he turns into a Zora)!  
  
AUTHOR INTRUSION AUTHOR INTRUSION!  
  
Ok, this is has nothing to do with the story, I just realized that a lot of you probably have no clue what the heck a Zora is. A Zora is basically a fish person. Mikau is a tall, handsome fish man with a green thing sticking out of the back of his head that looks suspiciously like Link's hat. He's blue spotted with the base skin colour white. He's got a fish tail (Not a merman because he's got legs too) and he's got fin things attached to his arms, which are like blades. Very cool. All he wears is a green miniskirt.  
He also has a fish bone guitar. Don't ask why.  
  
AUTHOR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS AND LEAVES YOU IN PEACE  
  
Anna: Fine. *Nabs Eirian and flies through portal*  
  
*POP* Link stopped and looked behind him. In the distance, he could see the dust rising from the feet of his female pursuers. They would be here soon. Link was about to take off again when a giant bunny girl tackled him from  
above. Next to him landed a giant purple keese (bat) girl.  
  
Link: AUGH! Not more of them! What did I do to you that I can't even remember because it happened seven years ago?  
  
Eirian: ow...Uh...We're just fans.  
  
Anna: Actually I just dropped her on you so you would stay put for a second. We have a proposition for you.  
  
Link: *looks behind him and sees that his pursuers are almost there* Hurry it up then...  
  
Anna: If it's a bad time we can come back...  
  
Link: *panicking* Look if you can help me fight these nutcases I'll say yes to whatever your proposition is. They've lost it, went crazy from hate, and they're going to rip me to bits if they catch me!  
  
Eirian: Deal! I will save you Link! *Tries to unsheathe sword valiantly but ends up tripping over sheath*  
  
Link: What have I done?  
  
Finally, Link's pursuers caught up. Five sweat drenched girls surrounded  
Link, Anna and Foofbunny.  
  
Anna: Who are these people?  
  
Link: To the right there's Ruto the Zora. She engaged herself to me when I was 10 but I didn't want to marry a fish so I refused to marry her later.  
  
Ruto: *whips out an axe* and you'll pay for it land lubber.  
  
Link: After her there's Naboru. She's just plain insane and she got the hots for me. So rather than flirting she wants to chop my head off.  
  
Naboru: *swings saber around* Hand over the head and I shan't harm you.  
  
Link: Malon, the fiery redhead Hyrulien. She thinks I was cheating on her even though I was never even her girlfriend.  
  
Malon: You *#$%&*$ @#$ you're going to burn for doing this to me. *Wraps chain around wrist* I'm going to whip you until you beg for mercy Link, but I'm going to give you only as much as you ever gave me.  
  
Link: Saria is the little green imp thing. The one that looks like tingle. I used to be her friend but being a sage must have gone to her head or something. I have no idea how she's managed to lug that bloody great club around after chasing me for so long.  
  
Saria: Amazing what the mind can do when fueled by black love isn't it.  
  
Link: *gulps* and we've got Zelda. The worst of the works. For some unknown and incredibly annoying reason all MY games are named after her. I'm pretty sure she likes me but something must've snapped in her brain. Watch out she wields some pretty wicked magic.  
  
Zelda: We were going to give you a chance to live Link but obviously, you've replaced it with these two flirts!  
  
Anna: I'll make you eat those words!  
  
Anna's hands glowed aqua and the word Flirt wrote itself in the air and tried to force itself into Zelda's mouth. Zelda retaliated viciously with her yellow magic. Locked in a deadly duel they circled each other with the  
word flirt floating between them.  
  
Link to Eirian: It's just me an you now  
  
Eirian: *swoon swoon* *finally manages to get sword out of sheath* HWA!  
  
Link: Look guys I really don't want to fight you.  
  
Foofbunny: But I do!  
  
Ruto: We're not guys you insolent male! Attack girls!  
  
Ruto charged Link driving him backwards with her speed and skill. Eirian,  
seeing that there was no way he could survive if he had to take on any  
more, jumped in front of the other three.  
  
Eirian: *in majestic tone* I am a master of swordplay! I shall smite thee down with my blade! You will never get Link!  
  
Saria: wanna bet rodent girl?  
  
Foofbunny: Sure. How much.  
  
Malon: that's a rhetorical question.  
  
Eirian: Now we're the grammar teacher are we?  
  
Malon: No puffy haired flirt's going to call me that! *Whips chain out and snags Will Turner's sword, then flips it into a tree where it stays imbedded in the wood*  
  
Eirian: umm. oy.  
  
Naboru: NOW, WHILE SHE'S CONFOODLED!  
  
Naboru took a swipe at Eirian's throat and missed as Foofbunny jumped away and ran for her (stolen) sword. Saria managed to raise her club about ten  
centimeters before dropping it on her toe. Owchies.  
Malon whipped her chain around Eirian's leg dragging her backwards. Foofbunny kicked her into a near by thorn bush, knocking her out. Eirian rolled over and continued to limp towards the tree. Saria managed to lift  
her club over her head then fell backwards on her butt. Finally, Eirian got to the tree and started to climb, Naboru at her heels.  
Higher, higher.Eirian curled her fingers around the sword and yanked.  
Behind her Naboru raised her saber a twisted smile playing across her mouth. Suddenly a great horned owl swooped down and grabbed Eirian in its  
talons. The branch Naboru was standing on snapped beneath her and she screamed. As her last act, she threw her saber and it struck foofbunny in the back. Below all this Saria finally managed to get her club up and with  
a triumphant cry charged forwards, just to be squashed by Naboru.  
  
Saria: *Squvish*  
  
After a short battle with the fish lady Link managed to bring Ruto to her  
knees. As for Anna she finally managed to make Zelda eat her words with  
such force it knocked her out.  
  
Zelda: *feebly* taste like butter. *passes out*  
  
Anna pushed Zelda's face into the dirt and rubbed, then froze as the whole  
forest vibrated with theme music.  
  
Anna: So catchy.*turns around* GASP!  
  
Kapora Gabora (A catchy name for an owl with catchy theme music) landed with Eirian's limp body in his claws. Link got up and walked over to his  
old friend.  
  
Link: Hey porabora! Why are you.. . oh no... Please no... *runs up to Eirian* she saved my life...  
  
Eirian: *whispering* they can't hurt you anymore... all gone...  
  
Link: *eyes burn with tears* Thank you... Before *choke* you... leave, what is your name?  
  
Foofbunny: *smiles tiredly* Eirian. I must go now hero of time...  
  
Link: *Leans forwards and gives her the kiss you're waiting for the whole game* Goodbye... Eirian...  
  
Anna who is leaning on a near by tree: *grin spreads across face* *chortle chortle*  
  
Link: *turns around* WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!!  
  
Anna: *snaps fingers*  
  
Foofbunny: *reincarnates behind Link* Oh ello!  
  
Link: ARGH! WHAT ARE YOU?!!  
  
Eirian: *hugs him* complicated.  
  
Kapora Gabora: *shudders* that was such a bad movie.  
  
Anna: *muttering* actually she's quite simple  
  
Link: *sulking* Long soppy goodbyes are meant to be the last thing you say to someone.  
  
Anna: Don't you just hate it when they're not?  
  
Eirian: *Coughs* Linkie,  
  
Link: Oh, a pet name. The beginning of the long-term relationship I managed to avoid for the last 7 years.  
  
Eirian: could you put on the Zora mask for me?  
  
Link: That was 6 years ago. I got rid of all the masks once I took out Majora's mask.  
  
Eirian: *eyes brim with tears* WHAT???!!! Well then, I must go to Termina to get it.  
  
Anna: Look, can you just forget it? We're trying to get characters not masks.  
  
Eirian: NEVER!! *turns back on Link and Anna and starts muttering to herself* It's OK Mikau. Don't let them scare you. We'll find you *pat pat*  
  
Link: What is she talking too? Mikau is in another dimension and time.  
  
Anna: I quote, "They're (Legolas and Mikau) always with me," unquote.  
  
Link: *gives Foofbunny a queer look* Alrighty! Moving on! What was this proposition you had for me? The one I can't turn down. The one you tricked me into.  
  
Anna: *smiles like an evil genius who's master plan had just been realized* Tricks are for kids. We made a deal. Deals are for young evil masterminds who intend to rule the world when they grow up. We are recruiting characters for an all-new game and you just decided to come with us.  
  
Link: *sighs* Umm... well I have no choice but to accept, but in the deal there was nothing about not being able to make requests. I request you keep her *jabs thumb at Eirian* away from me.  
  
Anna: The only way to do that is if we let her go and get Mikau. Eirian?  
  
Foofbunny: *has made stick men of Legolas and Mikau and are making them forgive her for kissing Link* *looks up* Yes?  
  
Anna: I am going to unleash you upon the world of TV to get Mikau. Once you get him, you have to leave poor Linkie alone ok? Don't take too long.  
  
Eirian: Okies Dokies!  
  
Anna: *Dumps Link and Eirian into a fiery portal leading to SSMB headquarters then jumps in too*  
  
Zelda: *returns to consciousness and sees the portal closing* *disappears in a poof of smoke and reappears inside portal, leaving the poor Kapora Gabora covered in soot and very confoodled indeed*  
  
After noticing Zelda, Anna and Eirian locked her in a magic proof cell. Anna opened a portal to Termina (the world where the game Majora's Mask is set) and tossed foofbunny into it. When that was done, she sat back in her luxurious black gangster chair and switched all the TVs to Pirates of the  
Caribbean.  
  
^.^  
  
Anna: Well... I got no requests... except to make Eirian kiss Legolas, of course that was her request... So... sorry no previous review things happen now...  
  
Anna: Will hug Ganondorf for reviews!  
  
Ganondorf: WHAT?!!  
  
Anna: *Hug*  
  
Ganondorf: *squish* AUGH!! *goes blue* Can't... breath...  
  
Anna: REVIEW!! OR ELSE! 


	5. Eirian strikes and a sidequest appears!

Chappy 5  
  
Now I have to explain something to you before I move on. When I first decided to write this story Eirian immediately demanded to have possession of one chapter. Just one. So this is her chapter. I am going to try to make this horribly spelled mass of pen on paper next to me into something vaguely understandable. If it doesn't make sense it is not my fault OK? Alrighty here goes!  
  
X_X  
  
Eirian dropped through the fiery vortex only to land on a beach. She almost screamed at the sight before her. There in the see was a floating white and blue carcass. She dashed into the bushes that randomly appeared as a boy in green (always in green) came running up. She saw him go into the water and push the body to shore. They talked (carcass of Zora (who is alive if just barely) and Link) and then the very awsum super tasty tart (Mikau/Zora) sprang to his feet and played a song on his awsum fish bone guitar. Even though it wasn't the best song she'd ever heard she listened anyways, something about some eggs and a girl... A GIRL??!!! She'd have to deal with her later, then coming back to her senses she saw the zora fall over and turn into A MASK?!?!?! Oh well... then the kid picked up the mask. Music came out of nowhere "DUN NUN NUN NUN!!" (scaring the bejeezers out of Foofbunny) and the kid held the mask over his head (OK... what up wid that?). The Kokarie wannabe put the mask on and started to scream and dance around, then it was over... and there stood a Zora. This was Eirian's opportunity, she sprang out of the now none existent bushes and landed on the Zora (Mikau)  
  
Mikau: AHHHH!! WHO ARE YOU?!  
  
Eirian: *stary eyed *o* * Your BIGGEST fan!  
  
Eirian then put her paws on either side of his head, her paws went into his  
head and pulled out. A LINK MASK!!!  
  
Mikau: AHHH! WHAT DID YOU DO?!  
  
Eirian: I just made it so you can't turn back into you boring old self! *puts shackles on Mikau's arm and attaches them to ger own rist*  
  
Mikau: Um... where did you get these from?  
  
Eirian: Don't ask questions!  
  
Mikau: *looks oddly at this rabid rabit*  
  
Eirian: I can read you mind (and also what's on the script) and I AM A BUNNY!!!  
  
Mikau: You're a witch! *uses shackles to fing Eirian around* Eirian: AHHHHHHH!  
  
*SPLOOSH!* Eirian lands in water.  
  
Eirian: *spit spit* WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!?!  
  
Like Like (Big worm thing that eats you) pops up from nowhere along with lots of dead fish (Skeleton fish things that try to eat you when your in  
the water)  
  
Eirian: *stares blankly* AHHHHH! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!  
  
Like Like (I am going to refer to them from now on as LL): Hello! Time to die! Swim me pretties! HAHAHAHA!!  
  
Dead Fish (From now on called DF): *swarm Eirian*  
  
Mikau: *is eating popcorn on beach* now this is entertainment!  
  
Eirian: *Pulls VERY hard on shackles* GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME!!  
  
Mikau is dragged over to LL and DF  
  
Mikau: I DON'T WANNA!  
  
Eirian: WELL YOU'RE GONNA!!!  
  
Mikau grunts, grabs Eirian and swims for all he's worth (and that's a lot)  
towards the island lab (Some lab place with a funny hook on it's roof that's floating in the middle of the ocean). Eirian clambers up the ladder  
and steps on Mikau's head.  
  
Mikau: WATCH IT!  
  
Eirian: I'm SOOOOOOO sorry! *starts to sob*  
  
Mikau: umm.. That's. Ok?  
  
Eirian: *hugs Mikau* I KNEW you'd understand!  
  
Mikau: *is going blue (more than usual)* I... can't... breath...  
  
Eirian: Enough talk let's go!  
  
Mikau: *gasp gasp* go where?  
  
Eirian: *blink blink* um.. *cough cough, looks around* thataway! *bursts through lab door*  
  
Ugly Scientist Thing (now referred to as UST): AHHH! WHO ARE YOU?!!  
  
Mikau: That's a good question. Who ARE you? *stares at Eirian*  
  
Eirian: *starts to sweat* That's for me to know and you to find out!  
  
Mikau: That's not a very go-  
  
Eirian: *pulls on shackles*  
  
Mikau: *falls over*  
  
Eirian: *Sword she had previously lost (will turner's sword to be specific) appears in her hand* *points sword at UST* Give us all the food you have!  
  
Mikau: *Looks at sword that randomly appeared out of nowhere* Hey, didn't that belong to a pirate type person?  
  
Eirian: *turns to Mikau* His name is Will Turner. Say it with me, Will Tur- Nur *turns back to UST* Now give us food!  
  
UST: Sure! *pulls leaver and 3 tons of fish drop on Eirian and Mikau*  
  
Eirian: EWWWWWWWW!  
  
Mikau: Hey! I knew some of these fish!  
  
Suddenly the lab starts to shake  
  
UST: AHHHHH! IT'S THE LIKE LIKES AND EVEN WORSE DEAD FISH OF DOOM!!!!!!! *leaps into Eirian's arms*  
  
Eirian: GET OFF OF ME!!!! *throws UST out the window*  
  
*SPLOOSH*  
  
Eirian: *pokes her head out the window*  
  
LLS and DF: *scream girly screams* EWWWW! IT'S SO UGLY!!!  
  
UST: Mommy...  
  
Eirian: Let's go Mikau! *fiery vortex apears* There's just one more stop I want to hit before going back to homebase  
  
Mikau: WHAT IS THAT??!  
  
Erian: *runs through portal dragging Mikau*  
  
Mikau: AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
*in French accent* thirrty minuutes laterr  
  
Eirian (and of course Mikau) arrived back ag the SSBM (who decided that name anyways?) headquarters by way of fiery vortex. As they trotted in Anna  
exploded.  
  
Anna: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!  
  
Eirian: around  
  
Mikau: Who was that man you just robbed?  
  
Anna: You robbed someone? *suddenly realizes mikau is wearing Will Turner's clothes* Oh no... I was playing the of the Pirates of the Carabbean movie so it was possible for you to go into.  
  
Eirian: We went to the Caribbean and found Will-  
  
Anna: Did you see Jack?  
  
DK: *smacks Anna over head (what I (Eirian) didn't get hurt? Something's wrong here...) * me listen to story. SHHH!  
  
Eirian: NO, NO JACK! So anyways we found him and held Lizard breath for ransom.  
  
Link: Liard breath?  
  
Eirian: Elizabeth *in prissy voice* The governer's daughter. So we held her for ransom-  
  
Mikau: YOU held her for ransom.  
  
Eirian: Yes, yes, the ransom: Will's spare clothing, so I could give poor Mikau something decent to wear,  
  
Mikau: but I liked my miniskirt!  
  
Eirian: I didn't, Will's hat with the big feather and... a kiss.  
  
Link: So did you get them?  
  
Eirian: all but the kiss. Not enough time had to get back to get on with the plot.  
  
Anna: *has returned to consciousness* So you gave "Lizard Breath" back and came here?  
  
Eirian: *blink blink* who ever said anything about giving back Lizard Breath? Not without my kiss! *pulls on shackles attached to her other hand, and Lizard Breath comes out of the shadows*  
  
DK: OOOO ...pretty...*goes closer*  
  
Foofbunny: No DK. No toochy. I've got to keep her alive in order to get my kiss!  
  
Elizabeth: Well... He is a good kisser... but you're just crazy!  
  
Anna and Eirian: *close their eyes and start chanting* We're not insane we're just wrong in the head, we're not insane we're just wrong in the head.  
  
All: *stare* O_O  
  
Eirian: All aren't you supposed to be in my story?  
  
All: *gasp* 0o0  
  
Mikau: *Kicks the genderless character back to Eirian's story*  
  
Eirian: Very good! You've learned well in the randomly guessing hour we've been together!  
  
Anna: Yes, yes, congrats all around, now let's get...  
  
Well, you'll just have to find out won't you?  
  
^.^  
  
Eirian: Right... Now I must leave you... Don't expect me to be nearly as safe in the next chapter. *looks around* and since it's my chapter...  
  
Anna: No...  
  
CF: *apears* HEYYYYY THERE PRETTY LADY!  
  
Eirian: YES! And now you-  
  
Anna: OOPS! Time's up in your chapter! *starts to sweat* bye bye!  
  
Eirian and CF: NOOOOO!!!!  
  
Anna: Yes! Hahaha! *flush*  
  
Foofbunny and CF: ARGH! *whirls around a bunch then disapears*  
  
Anna: Phew. REVIEW!!!  
  
@-@  
  
Anna: well wasn't that thrilling ladies and gents! Most of those little explanations in brackets was me trying to explain stuff what she wrote was  
not nearly as clear, though otherwise what's written up there is pretty  
accurate. If you enjoyed that and you have a lot of spare time on your hands and your done my story you should go and read some of hers... she's  
got plenty. So officially thankies foofbunny for this excellent (when  
deciphered) chapter! 


	6. Ganondorf the awsum

Chappy 6  
  
This is the longest anything I have ever written. SORRY!! Please don't get bored... pleeeeaaaaseeee. Oh ya and I am fully aware that the beginning of this chapter may piss some people off, sorry 'bout that.  
  
Ganondorf sat in the realm of evil drinking tea. His fingers flew over a  
keyboard as he typed a message to one of his main captains.  
  
Ganondorf: *muttering* I may have been stopped from personally taking over the world but they can't stop me from getting someone else to conquer it for me! *presses send*  
  
His laptop: Your plans to take over the Iraq and whatever else is near by have been sent to Burninghotbush@hotmail.com  
  
Suddenly a message popped up on the top part of the screen:  
"Link has left Hyrule for reasons unknown"  
  
Ganondorf: WHAT?! Link... left... Hyrule... now after 50 billion times of rebuilding my castle and returning to power just to have it all blow up in my face over and over exactly the same way, because of him... He's gone. *looks around for exit* *walks through door with flashing exit sign over top and no lock* ya know if they really wanted to keep me in here they really should have tried a little harder with security.  
  
Ganondorf took one step out the door and yelped as he dropped downwards through the clouds towards Hyrule.  
  
IN SSBM HEADQUARTERS  
  
Zelda: *turns into sheik and smashes her cell door down* FEEL MY WRATH FOOLISH IMBECILES!  
  
Lizard Breath (now referred to as LB): Watch out the crazy blonde's loose!  
  
Foofbunny: You or Zelda?  
  
LB: *glares at Foofbunny* Zelda you horrible wretch  
  
Anna: *Once again locks in deadly battle with Zelda* Eirian? A little help here please!  
  
Eirian: *hucks Link mask at Zelda hitting her on the head with such force it breaks in two and she's KOd*  
  
Anna: Nice! Very Nice! Now remind me why we're keeping her around in the first place?  
  
Foofbunny: *shrugs* Keeping crazy people captive is my hobby.  
  
Anna: No wonder you have me over so much. Hobby or not I want to get rid of her. Back to Hyrule we go! *pushes Zelda & Foofbunny into fiery portal leading to Hyrule*  
  
Eirian: *Whining* Nooo! Crazy people amuse me!  
  
Last thing Eirian sees is Mikau and LB waving goodbye  
  
Eirian: YOU'D BETTER NOT TOUCH HIM!!!  
  
Zelda, Eirian and Anna land in Hyrule. Anna picks up Zelda and tosses her  
into a near by bush.  
  
Anna: Ok that done let's-  
  
Ganondorf: AHHHHH! *lands on Anna* *WHAM*  
  
Anna: Ahhh! My spleen!  
  
Foofbunny: So you must be that elf guy I've heard so much about.  
  
Ganondorf: *gets up and dusts himself off* Perhaps, though I don't know from whom you might obtain any information about me. I am the Great Ganondorf. Fear ME!  
  
Foofbunny: And I'm the Easter bunny! *jumps around saying "I'm the Easter bunny" in creepy voice*  
  
Ganondorf: MOCK ME NOT!  
  
Anna: *Get's up and rubs her back* Since we're in Hyrule and from his weight I'm guessing that's Ganondor- *looks up at Ganondorf* *freezes in mid sentance* Gawk...  
  
Ganondorf stood there running his claw like fingernails through his long red hair. His big elf ears waved in the wind (In the background Eirian is  
throwing eggs everywhere) his one black earring shining. His amber eyes glistened, over his left eye there ran a long red slash, making him squint  
a little on that side.  
  
Eirian: You've changed since we last played the game.  
  
Anna: *drool drool, stare stare*  
  
Ganondorf: I've always had elf ears just Link kept hacking them off. Ears and Hair grow back. Not that I have any good reason to tell you this. Thanks for breaking my fall, and goodbye. I must get back to taking over Hyrule.  
  
Anna: *snaps back to reality* NO WAIT!  
  
Ganondorf: *turns* What?  
  
Anna: What do you really want?  
  
Ganondorf: I really want you to leave me the hell alone. *thinks about it for a second* and to get a fair chance to beat up Zelda and Link without those annoying sages in the way. Stupid sages. Always ruining my fun! They just need to get close to me and the game cuts into a cut scene I can't control and I get tossed into some stupid white realm with an annoying exit sign that blinks every five seconds so I can't bloody well sleep and all there is to do is eat crumpets, drink tea and email my every plan to the worlds superpowers (aw man my grammer teacher would hate that sentence so much she'd probably blow up... that gives me an idea... Hey lucy! Lucy appears: *looks at sentence and spontainiously combusts* Anna: Bwahahaha. I have so much power) !!! ARGH I HATE THOSE BLOODY SAGES!!!! *calms down* But you couldn't possibly do that so I would really appreciate it if you granted my first wish. *smiles rudely* *walks away*  
  
Eirian: *muttering* talk about bad temper.  
  
Anna: *flies over and lands in front of Ganondorf* What if we could?  
  
Ganondorf: *stare* What?  
  
Anna: And Hyrule is a pretty dumpy little place with way to many heroes popping up everywhere don't you think? How would you like to get a chance to look at your other options?  
  
Ganondorf: *stare* Who are you?  
  
Anna: My name is Anna and the bunny is Eirian or Foofbunny. We are on a mission to recruit characters for an all new fighting game. So far we've got DK, Young Link, Link, Zora Link, and Zelda.  
  
Eirian: NO! Mikau can't fight! He's to wholesome and nice and handsome... He might bruise his face. Mikau fight not.  
  
Ganondorf: *Stare* No sages? No random cut scenes?  
  
Anna: None whatsoever.  
  
Ganondorf: *looks at her suspiciously* what's in it for you?  
  
Anna: We want you to participate as one of the characters in our game. I leave the other characters in our headquarters and you can come with us as we go to different worlds. That's it. We just have to ask you to wait with beating up Link and Zelda until the games really begin. So... Deal?  
  
Ganondorf: ... this sounds to good to be true...  
  
Eirian: But it is true!  
  
Ganondorf: Fine. I'll go with you. But if this is some sort of trick... you're bunny friend gets it.  
  
Eirian: WHAT?!! WHY ME?  
  
Ganondorf: A: you aren't the author B: you don't have magic C: You mocked me and I don't like you rabbit girl.  
  
Eirian: YOU REDHEADED CREEP! YOU'LL GET IT FOR THAT! *jumps towards Ganondorf*  
  
Ganondorf is about to blast her when Twinrova (a pair of really old and  
ugly twin witches one ice one fire) come down and scoop Ganondorf into their arms. Then they fly off towards the spirit temple off in the desert.  
  
Kotake (the ice witch): Oh Ganondorf you're so cool! *strokes his hair *  
  
Koume (fire) swooned "I always wanted to tell you that I think you're really hot! Gives him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Ganondorf: ARRRRRRRGH! IT'S TWINROVA!! HELP!!! NO!! *slaps Kotake's hand and tries to claw away* BAD! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T LIKE YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST CALLED YOU BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES ONCE TO RECRUIT YOU FOR MY AWESOME ARMY OF DOOM! I THINK YOUR UGLY OLD HAGS! DON'T TOUCH ME! Arrrrrghhhhhhhh!!! Save me Anna and rabbit girl... *disappears into distance*  
  
Eirian: *pant pant* GOOD RIDDANCE YOU SNIVILING RED HAIRED BLOB!!! *fill eyes as she falls to the eyes* I'm a bunnnnnyyyyy...  
  
Anna: NO NOT GOOD!! WE JUST LOST A CHARACTER FOR OUR GAME, SPECIFICALLY A CHARACTER I REALLY LIKED!!! After them!!  
  
Anna charged through Termina field dragging a protesting Eirian behind her. They arrived at a ranch (Lon Lon Ranch for those who know it), ran in, paid  
their due respects to mister Ingo (so cool)  
  
Anna: *runs up to Mister Ingo* HI YOU SO COOL! SOME GOOD ADVICE SHAVE YOUR  
NECK! GOODBYE!  
  
Mister Ingo:... Wha?  
  
Eirian: Real cool man keep it up and please shave your neck bye!  
  
Mister Ingo: Shave my... *Looks in a mirror and realizes that his whole  
throat is covered in huge bushels of hair* oh... I thought it was a  
beard...  
  
By this time Anna and Eirian had already highjack the horse corral and  
jumped some impossibly high fences with Epona (Link's stolen horse... kinda). They rode towards the desert at full speed Anna with a determined look on her face and Eirian with a look no one could see because her face was covered in mud from being dragged. Finally they arrived at the Gerudo valley (which you must get through to get to the desert). Epona jumped a huge chasm but was abruptly stopped by a Gerudo guard (quick briefing on the Gerudos: the Gerudos are a band of thieves that leave in the desert. They are all females (don't ask) and only one male Gerudo is born every 100  
years. Ganondorf is this centuries' male Gerudo.)  
  
Gerudo: HALT! I cannot let you pass.  
  
Anna: Do you mind? We're on a mission to save YOU'RE 100 year special.  
  
Gerudo: Oh, we don't like him anymore. We've moved on.  
  
Anna: You've... moved... on...?  
  
Gerudo : Yup! We don't think Ganondorf is hip anymore.  
  
Eirian: Join the club sister, Join the club. So who do you like. *Scratches viciously as mud covering her face* ungh..  
  
Gerudo: Orlando Bloom. *eyes go white and starts advancing on Anna, arms outstretched like a monster* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...  
  
Anna: *Smacks Epona's rear and Epona tramples Gerudo* Creepy Orlando Bloom cultists, they're everywhere.  
  
Eirian: *from behind* *muttering* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...  
  
Anna: We'd better go along the rest of the way on foot as not to attract attention.  
  
Eirian: Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...  
  
Anna dismounted along with Eirian. She rummaged through the saddle bags making sure there wasn't anything useful. She found several bullets, some herbs, and a shoehorn.  
  
Anna: Sheesh... what a weird guy... guns weren't even invented yet, he doesn't know how to use herbs and what is he gonna do with a shoe horn. *shrugs* oh well... *uses the shoe horn pry the dried mud off Eirian's face* Oh my gosh...  
  
Eirian: *eyes white* Orlando Bloom, Orlando Bloom...  
  
Anna: *Stuffs herbs in her mouth thusly curing her*  
  
Eirian: phew... thanks, Now let's go.  
  
Anna: *looks around* Ahaha! That's the way to the desert!  
  
Eirian: Then why aren't we sneaking inconspicuously towards it?  
  
Anna: We would but there just so happens to be a Gerudo with a rather ominous looking saber thing standing right in front of a gigantic gate. No we can't jump it with Epona. I can tell from your look that's just what you were about to ask.  
  
Eirian: *closes mouth*  
  
Anna: I know! I shall create a disturbance and while the Gerudo is chasing me you open the gigantic doors!  
  
Eirian: What are you going to-  
  
Anna: *blows on shoehorn (get it? Shoehorn?)* TOWHOOOT!  
  
Gerudo with omnious looking saber thing : Huh? What? Intruders?!! ATTACK!!  
  
Anna: Ha! Now open the doors while she chases me! *turns around* oh! Poo.  
  
Facing her are the rest of the patrolling Gerudos, that being maybe... 200.  
  
Anna: ah. *licks lips* Ooh my.  
  
Eirian: AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Anna: Umm... Haha! *whips out a Tails hand puppet (tails from Sonic... ya know, the fox guy)* Orlando Bloom must be over there! *doesn't make any gesture of the where abouts*  
  
200 Gerudos: *simotainiously* WHERE?? *look around*  
  
Leader Gerudo: OK EVERYONE! SPLIT UP! WE MUST FIND THE GREAT BLOOM!  
  
200 Gerudos: *split up and ignore Anna and Foofbunny*  
  
Foofbunny: where where?  
  
Anna: eheheh. *walks over to gate and pushes it open* TO THE DESERT!!!  
  
So Anna and Foofbunny continue their search for Ganondorf and finally after following some invisible poe without the lens of truth and continuously falling into sandpits (very smelly) Anna whacked the poe over the head and flew (with Eirian) to the Spirit Temple. Dunununun...  
  
OUTSIDE THE SPIRIT TEMPLE  
  
Eirian: Ooh! Looksies looksies! It's a big funny looking rock!  
  
Anna: That's a building Eirian.  
  
Eirian: Ahhh... I see...  
  
Anna: We must save Ganondorf!!! ENTER THE SPIRIT TEMPLE!  
  
Foofbunny: *walks forwards and trips over a moving spiky cactus thing* You've got to be kidding. This is what almost killed you when you were playing this game. *picks up tiny cactus* Now that's sad.  
  
Anna: MOVING ON!  
  
And they did. IN SPIRIT TEMPLE  
  
Anna: *looks around. Room contains nothing but a couple of pots and a big blue block which has "push me" spray painted on it* hmm... a big block. Too lazy to push. *blasts big block into oblivion* I am so powerful.  
  
Eirian: ARGH!!! *is pelted with flying pots* BEGON YOU HORRID POSSESSED POTS! OW! STOP IT! OW! ANNA HELP ME!  
  
Anna: Do not anger the flying pots. Speak calmly to them. Like so. *in gentle tone* stop hurting the bunny my little hollow clay dears. Don't do that it's not ni- *pot breaks in face* Either that or you can blast the crap out of them. Like so. *Blasts pots into crap* I am so powerful.  
  
Eirian: Ewww... dung *walks into next room* AGH!!! *whirls and runs back to nice safe poo*  
  
In the center of the room is a great big statue with a turning head with just one eye on it. It Shoots Lasers.  
  
Statue: *blink blink* ZZZZZZZZZT! *lasers foofbunny's hair so it comes to just below her neck (how her haircut REALLY happened!)*  
  
Eirian's hair: Fizzle fizzle  
  
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! YOU STUPID LITTLE STATUE!!! *Picks up handful of sand and hucks it at statue's eye*  
  
Statue: *head falls off and both body and head blow up in a huge explosion*  
  
Foofbunny: ... *puffs out chest* Haha!  
  
Anna: Explosions unexpected but always enjoyed.  
  
Foofbunny: *starts to float away because so filled with hot air* MPH!  
  
Anna: Oh no! Eirian! *plan forms* any one can throw sand Eirian.  
  
Foofbunny: *deflate* *lands* phew. Was almost proud of myself there. Close one.  
  
Anna: Ok I'm to lazy to do this whole temple. Soo... *Blasts wall next to her with magic* I am so powerful.  
  
Foofbunny: Will you stop saying that.  
  
Anna: But I am.  
  
Both walk into next room. They are standing in a huge hallway with a long red carpet. At the end of it, in a huge chair there's a HUGE Iron Knuckle (not litteraly and iron knuckle. An Iron knuckle in Zelda is a great big metal killing machine thing that has a bloody great ax. And I mean a bloody great ax) Beside it there's a sign.  
  
Anna: *walks up to sign* Hey Eirian! Look, it's a sign written in blood. It says: Wake me and I shall crush you insignificant bones into dust and make a carpet out of your skin. Your eyeballs will make some delicious rice pudding.  
  
While Anna is staring at sign Foofbunny goes up to Iron Knuckle and examines it.  
  
Anna: So obviously we can't wake this masked giant monster or we die. *looks up*  
  
Eirian is poking it.  
  
Eirian: *Poke poke*  
  
Anna: NOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Iron Knuckle: RAWRG!! *lifts up huge ax and chops down on Eirian*  
  
Eirian: *dives back and spreads legs*  
  
Ax: *sticks into floor just between Foofbunny's limbs*  
  
Eirian: *takes her chance and punches Iron knuckle* *large bruise spreads across hand* OWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Iron Knuckle: *manages to take ax out of ground and brings it up over it's head* *ax falls down towards Eirian's skull with tremendous speed* *suddenly stops*  
  
The Iron Knuckle turned into a smoking mound of ash with a few charred bones in the middle of it. The ax melted and oozed into the dirt.  
  
Anna: *blows on finger* I am so powerful.  
  
Foofbunny: Hey, wasn't Naboru that weird sage lady supposed to be inside that armor because she was brainwashed into attacking us?  
  
Anna: *Goes green* explains the bones... oopsies? *blasts wall next to them* Walks into gynormous room with tons of switches and a giant rock statue in front of her.  
  
Eirian: *walks around trying to figure out the puzzle* *presses several switches* There. This mind bending puzzle is complete due to my superior intellect. *presses final switch*  
  
Meanwhile Anna had blasted open the statue's face 'cause she thought it was ugly (oh how deep) and was standing in front of the boss door.  
  
Anna: NO! Don't!!! *hundreds of rocks dump on her* ARGH!!! MY SQUIGGLY SQOOCH!  
  
Foofbunny: That wasn't supposed to happen. *presses switch again*  
  
*hundreds of rocks dump off Anna*  
  
Eirian: You're alive?  
  
Anna: Alive and full of goo. MISSION GOO! (Thusly I quote Invader Zim. That show is so damn funny) owwww... Ok so let's go find Twinrova! *turns and tries to pull open door*  
  
The door is kept closed by a great big gold chain fastened to the wall at four corners and in the middle by a huge gold dragon head lock.  
  
Anna: *Pulls harder and harder* UNGH!!! It's too strong!  
  
Eirian: *Walks up and pushes door open*  
  
Anna: Ah.  
  
Anna and Eirian wiggle their way into the boss room. In front of them oh the horrors of horrors were Twinrova crooning over Ganondorf. Ganondorf was chained to the floor doing his very best to try to wriggle away but under the combined magics of both witches, no way could he get away. Waiting for his kanigit (knight) in shining armor to rescue him. He looked at Anna with a lovesick ecstatic look in his eyes.  
  
Ganondorf: FINALLY! SAVE ME DAMN IT!  
  
Ok. I lied.  
  
Anna: *sniffle sniffle*to see the great Ganondorf brought so low by his own evil minions makes me so... emotional. I WILL SAVE YOU GANONDORF!  
  
Koume smiled, "Look kid. If you try anything we brush his hair."  
  
Ganondorf: No... you wouldn't  
  
Koume said deviously, "I would!"  
  
Anna: how dare you! You can't threaten your master like that!  
  
Kotake: We just did. Oh ya you hurt either of this and he gets the perfume too.  
  
Anna: Ganondorf can't you free yourself with your magic.  
  
Ganondorf: I'm chained to the ground with two super powerful witches holding me down with all their force. No, I can't escape on my own.  
  
Koume grinned, "Good use of commas!"  
  
Anna: What?  
  
Koume went scarlet, "uh... nothing!"  
  
Eirian: Hey why do u always have good grammer when u talk? It's weird man.  
  
Koume screamed, "AHHHHHHH MY EARS THEY BURN! DO NOT SPEAK THAT WORD! "IT" IS MY BANE! AND PLEASE DO NOT USE SLANG!"  
  
Eirian: what is that crazy dog talking 'bout. I mean what is wit her?  
  
Ganondorf: She's a grammar teacher! Keep it up!  
  
Eirian: what is it wit dees crazy peeps I mean dem all wrong in di head.  
  
Anna: Ya what up?  
  
Koume: Thank you!! I'm healing!  
  
Foofbunny: Anna! You don't go to chatrooms! You don't know chatspeak! What u ment to say is wat going down dog?  
  
Anna: What's going down.  
  
Foofbunny: Ur hopeless dog. Leve bad gramer to meh. Wat's it Koume? Is baaaaad grammer painfl?  
  
Koume *begins to melt* I'm melting! I'm melting! Nooooooooooo... My grammer is even decaying too. What an end fur me... goodbye Kotake. G2G  
  
Kotake: NO! HOW COULD YOU?! FINE YOU MAY KNOW HER SECRET BUT YOU WON'T TAKE ME!  
  
Anna: She's ice right?  
  
Ganondorf: Ya... what is your point?  
  
Anna: If she got burned too much she'd die right?  
  
Ganondorf: yes... point please?  
  
Anna: Kotake you're an ugly old hag.  
  
Eirian: Ooooh. Buuuurrrn.  
  
Kotake: OOOOWWW! AUGH! MY SKIN CONDITION!  
  
Anna: And your nose is the size of my feet.  
  
Eirian: OOOOOH BURN!  
  
Kotake: OWW!  
  
Ganondorf: *catching on* Point made. You're dress is atrocious your bum is wrinkly your eyeballs are freeky your fingers are like a spiders your charm is nonexistent your eyelashes are stumpy your build is sad you chest could be mistaken for balls ( that's not past expressions right? right?) your brain is twisted your skin looks like a decaying fish and your breath could kill an army.  
  
Foofbunny: Nasty nasty nasty BUUUUURRRNNNN!  
  
Kotake: *erupts in flame* ARRRGHHH!!! And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddeling kids and your stupid Buuurrrrnnn chant!  
  
Eirian: Anna Dooby Doo!  
  
Anna: Wow. from now on I officially don't want to get on your bad side Ganondorf.  
  
Ganondorf: I practiced all through high school. I am the expert on insults. Fear me. Much. NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE!  
  
Eirian: I'd much prefer to leave him here. Unless he says sorry.  
  
Ganondorf: Never.  
  
Anna: Eirian forget it. *Blasts Ganondorf's chains off and gives him her hand to get up*  
  
Ganondorf: *gets up on his own*  
  
Eirian: *lifts an eyebrow*  
  
Anna: Fine. If that's the way you want it. Now back to SSBM headquarters we go. *Sulk*  
  
Ganondorf: What about the deal?  
  
Anna: Oh ya, after we grab Zelda. *flies off to go get Zelda*  
  
Eirian: *sits down*  
  
Ganondorf: *sits down*  
  
Awkward silence  
  
Foofbunny: That was pretty cool what you did back there with the insults  
  
Ganondorf: ya  
  
Awkward silence  
  
Ganondorf: where'd you learn to chatspeak like that?  
  
Eirian: Chatspeak? That's how I always talk  
  
Awkward silence  
  
Foofbunny: I still hate you for calling me a Rabbit.  
  
Ganondorf: I still hate you for mocking me and being a pouce.  
  
Foofbunny: Good! Now that we've got that sorted out now have you seen Pirates Of the Carabbean?  
  
Ganondorf: Oh ya! That was such a good movie! So cool!  
  
Foofbunny: So great! Barbosa was so creepy!  
  
Ganondorf: But the monkey was so cute! Ooh! How about League of Extrordinary Gentlemen? It was so bad!  
  
Together: YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAR RACE IN VENICE!!!  
  
Foofbunny: And that stupid American wouldn't die! Car flips over, he survives. Bomb lands on his head, he survives! What is up with that?!  
  
Ganondorf: Too true!  
  
Suddenly both hear flapping of wings over head. Anna comes in carrying Zelda by the hair to find Ganondorf and Eirian looking in opposite directions with rebellious looks on their faces.  
  
Anna: Lighten up! Can you two at least try to get along?  
  
Ganondorf: With her? Never.  
  
Foofbunny: same for me.  
  
Ganondorf: excuse me I'm not a her.  
  
Anna: *sighs* well you'd better because he's coming with us when we go to the different worlds.  
  
Eirian: WHAT?!!  
  
Anna: Of course. So he can see his other "options" *in her head* and so I can be around him!  
  
Eirian: NOOOOO!!! Not him! Why not Zora Link or even DK?  
  
Anna: Because that wasn't part of their deals.  
  
Ganondorf: and it was part of mine! We could just leave you at the "headquarters" or whatever they're called *looks hopefully at Anna*  
  
Anna: *hesitates I meeaaaannn... states forcefully* Never! I would never dump my best friend even for you!  
  
Ganondorf: I heard that. I may yet manage to get rid of her.  
  
Anna: Enough talk *grabs everyone by the collar and dumps into huge fiery portal*  
  
Ganondorf: NOOOOO!!! I HAVE PORTAL O PHOBIA!! NO PLEASE! ISN'T THERE ANY OTHER WAY?  
  
Anna: Nope!  
  
Back at our dear Headyquarters  
  
Ganondorf: LINK!  
  
Link: GIANT PIG MAN!!!  
  
Ganondorf: THAT'S GANON NOT ME!!! I AM NOT A BLOODY PIG!!! *mauls Link*  
  
Link: AAAAARRRRGHHH!!!!!  
  
Anna: *Rips them apart* Bad cool people. BAD!!! Now don't fight.  
  
Y Link: AUGHHHH!!! GANONDORF YOU WILL DIE!!! *Mauls Ganondorf*  
  
Mikau: DIE PIG MAN I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW!!! *mauls Ganondorf*  
  
Ganondorf: AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! *mauls back*  
  
Mikau: AGH!! HELP ME!  
  
Zelda: *wakes up* What is that... hot fish man?!! I will save him thusly winning his heart! *mauls Ganondorf*  
  
Foofbunny: now your asking for it blond watermelon head! If anyone mauls Ganondorf (I want to be the one to kill him!) or Mikau they will pay the price in blood!!! *jumps in and starts mauling everyone minus Mikau*  
  
DK: MAUL ME MAUL ME! Duh *scratches bum*  
  
Anna: Ok that's it. *everyone starts glowing aqua and are pulled to opposite walls- except Eirian and Mikau*  
  
Eirian: He's mine hiss, hiss!  
  
Ganondorf: Ungh! *fights viciously back with purple magic, sadly I'm and author and he isn't at this comp-*  
  
Anna: AUUUUUGHGGGHHGHGHG!!!!  
  
Eirian: That's the weirdest sound I've ever heard  
  
Ganondorf: *jumps and attacks the keyboard* Haha! Ok right off the bat Foofbunny disintegrates along with that American and all the other Zelda people except Link who is slowly ripped apart limb by limb*  
  
Anna: I guess that means you like me? YAY!  
  
Ganondorf: umm, no I just don't hate you enough to kill you within the first five seconds of my rule. Mind you in the next ten seconds...  
  
Anna: *burns into ashes*  
  
Ganondorf: BWAHAHAHA! *Anna Reincarnates and bashes him over the head with a frying pan* Owww... *passes out*  
  
Anna: None of that just happened every one is still pinned to a wall. *glares at Ganondorf* Bloody villains  
  
Ganondorf (in story): Ungh! *tries to pry away with his own magic, but sadly when I'm writing and he can't touch the keyboard that isn't good enough* Damn you author  
  
Anna: *squishes his ears* Just learn your place  
  
Ganondorf: STOP PLAYING WITH MY EARS! THAT IS VIOLATING MY PERSONAL SPACE! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE MY PERSONAL EARS ALONE!!! *twitches ears madly*  
  
Anna: Fine. *hugs him*  
  
Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!  
  
Mikau: You think she's violating your personal space?  
  
Eirian: *is shnoogling Mikau viciously* My shnoogypoo  
  
Anna: *pries them apart* DON'T DO THAT IN PUBLIC PLEASE!!!  
  
Eirian: Awwwww...  
  
Anna: *turns around and starts marching up and down her character ranks looking suspiciously like a drill sergeant I saw in a movie last night* Ok troops. I know you hate each other but right now I don't give a crap. You stop acting up now or I'll have to delete you. I'm serious. I can break your games and you will cease to exist.  
  
Eirian: AAHHH! MY PIXLES ARE IN DANGER!!  
  
Anna: Shut up.You guys stop fighting now. I mean it. Or do I have to put you individual containment centers?  
  
Y Link: English please.  
  
Anna: Do I have to give you a time out in a corner?  
  
Y Link: NOT THE CORNER!!  
  
Anna: yes the corner.  
  
Link: I can be reasonable on these conditions:  
  
Anna: *Hands him conditioner*  
  
Link: That's not what I meant. Get Pigman-  
  
Anna: *pretends not to know who he's referring to* who?  
  
Ganondorf: Yay Anna! No wait... uhh... you didn't just hear me be positive... I hate you all... and I am not a pig.  
  
Foofbunny: Oh yes you are! I saw you stuff down that pudding when we first got to the temple!  
  
Anna: Oh you mean Ganondorf! I see...  
  
Link: out of my face.  
  
Anna: I'm taking him with us when we go out.  
  
Ganondorf: I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU  
  
Anna: *muttering* yet *cough cough* I mean when we are going on our adventures!!! Umm... ya...  
  
Link: fine. I can deal with that.  
  
Zelda: *squirm squirm* I'LL GET YOU INTOLERANT UGLY PIGHEADED FUNBOOBIES  
  
Anna: Ok she's definitely lost it. We can't let her near anyone sane *looks at Eirian then thinks about it for a second* Or even half insane. *Locks Zelda in her previous cell*  
  
Zelda: *turns into sheik and starts bashing the door* AAARRRGHH! I'LL GET YOU YOU BUMBUMED SCALLIWOOGIES!  
  
Anna: Ganondorf hold the door!  
  
Ganondorf: Don't have to tell me twice. *Pushes with all his might... which is an awful lot*  
  
Door: *breaks open and lands on Zelda's head ^__^ yay!*  
  
Zelda: *passes out... for the third time... so far*  
  
Anna: Ok... so how do you contain a crazy ravenous blond who has no brain just hormones?  
  
Link: Occupy her with an attractive male,  
  
All: *Looks at Link*  
  
Link: *starts to sweat* but not me because... I need to fight in the game right?  
  
All: *turn and look at Mikau*  
  
Mikau: What's everyone staring at? Do I have something on my face?  
  
Foofbunny: No your face is perfect... the perfect reason not to get it bashed up with fighting!  
  
Mikau: Please don't make me go in there!!!  
  
Ganondorf: Ya, that's just not fair. I know I'm sticking up for some twisted version of Link, but this is Zelda we're talking about here. I mean half the internet is pictures of her sucking the tongue off some guy. That's just too cruel.  
  
Mikau: THE MAN'S GOT A POINT! *whispering* I'll give you the money later.  
  
Foofbunny: Fine then you can go in there Ganondorf!  
  
Ganondorf: Hey Mikau what are you doing out here, you're supposed to be with Zelda! *pushes Mikau in cage*  
  
Mikau: NO PLEASE MERCY!!!  
  
Anna: because everyone would more than likely flame me if I was this unfair I'll give you mercy.  
  
Mikau: Merci!  
  
Anna: *long tendrils of aqua wrap around Mikau forming a layer of untouchable electricity*  
  
Mikau: Thanks... but what does it do?  
  
Anna: Anyone tries to touch you but yourself and they get zapped with 50 volts of electricity. That should take care of any girl problems you will ever have  
  
Mikau: what if I want to touch someone later after I get out?  
  
Anna: Euhm... They'll... probably still get zapped with 50 volts of electricity?  
  
Foofbunny: Anna you are going down. *mauls Anna* Maul maul  
  
Darth Maul: You called? *spontaneously combusts like everything else I don't need*  
  
Anna: *puts sword to Eirian's throat*  
  
Foofbunny: AAARRRGHH! IT IS POINTY!! KEEP IT AWAY!!! (Eirian has a fear of knives and anything sharp and pointylike. She's Ok with wielding them but is traumatized by the thought of a knifed chainsaw killer coming and slitting her throat.)  
  
Foofbunny: *Attack the keyboard* BLOODY TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE SO SCARY!!!!!!!! *gets hit in the shoulder with a fake sword and keels over dead (and this did just happen, ooooo that's gonna hurt in the mourning)* AAAAAHHHHH THE PAIN IT BURNS!!!!!  
  
Anna: Sorry Foofs. I didn't mean it. Anyways-  
  
Foofbunny: THE PAIN!!  
  
Ganondorf: *Steps on her* shut up!  
  
Anna: Anyways to sum it all up Mikau is put into the cell with an electric coating,  
  
Zelda: Oooooohh! 0__0 pretty! *poke* ZAP!! OWWW!! Pretty 0__0 *poke* ZAP!! *poke* ZAP!! *fries and dies (KOed)*  
  
Anna: The others said they would stop acting up if I got Ganondorf out of there. After a little bit of fighting we (or I) decided where we would be going next. Guess you'll have to read the next chappy to find out now won't you?  
  
_  
  
Anna: Ok. So I'm going to be reaaaaallly daring IF you can grant me this: Review. I won't do this horribly daring act if at least two new people don't review (ooh I'm so picky) so tell your friends... ehehehe but I would be just being an ass if I didn't do anything soo:  
  
Anna: Will Kiss... GANONDORF if at least two new people review. Seriously I will.  
  
Ganondorf: *tied to floor* *wiggle wiggle* Not this again. Anna, don't you dare kiss me. Please don't kiss me, I'll pay you in sugar. Don't kiss me or I'll impale your head. I, I'm already having an affair with Eirian!  
  
Foofbunny: AAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!! *turns completely green* NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!! NOT TRUE! BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD THOUGHTS NONONONONONONONONO!!!! *steps on Ganondorf's mouth making it so he can't breath* SAY IT'S NOT TRUE! SAY IT'S NOT TRUE!  
  
Ganondorf: *mumfle mumfle* Snottruesnottrue!  
  
Foofbunny: *kicks down then lifts foot away*  
  
Ganondorf: *gasp gasp* AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!! OWOWOWOWOWOW! *gasp gasp* That's really going to hurt in the morning.  
  
Or if no one new reviews I'll kiss Strongbad some guy you probably don't  
know. He comes from homestarrunner.com . Check it out when you have the  
time! There's no swearing, not gory, just hilarious!  
  
Strongbad: WHAT DA CRAP?!!  
  
Anna: So this is the end of the longest thing I've ever written in my whole life... wow. Ok! Next chap shouldn't be quite as long. Toodles! REVIEW!! 


End file.
